Diary of a Madman---a collection of KANSAS' rants

[Sharkbait]

INDEED - your presence is REQUIRED kansaw...NO excuses..

Exactly, we'd have stories for a year about what happened during the weekend.

[Kansas]

Wow. Where have I been? No, seriously. If any of you know, please contact my lawyer. Apparently, "Really? I did that? You have actual video? Well, that doesn't sound like something I would do" is not a valid defense in this state.

So, the Lions are 0-2 just as I expected. However, they are 0-2 in a way that makes me strangely proud and yet still disgusted. It's like the one time my wife swallowed and then threw up on my stomach.

I think it's safe to say that, other than Bear's fans, the entire civilized world knows that we won that first game. It took a referee who applied a stupid rule to its utmost extreme for us to lose that game. I wish we could apply that same extreme to the Golden Rule, cuz.......well........I'd be gettin' me a ton of anonymous sex.

I watched the replay of Calvin's catch in slow motion over and over again. Frame by frame. I interviewed dozens of eyewitnesses a couple of people who were in my basement at the time. I was like my very own Warren Commission only a lot drunker. And I documented my findings in thousands of pages a strongly worded mental note that I sent telepathically to the NFL Rules Committee with both of my middle fingers fully extended in their general direction, which I can only assume is somewhere in the depths of Hell. Between this stupid rule and all the rules protecting the poor wittle QBs, we are letting these assholes ruin the game we Americans LOVE! If we continue to let this shit stand, the terrorists win. Unite, America!!

We lost Stafford again. I'm sure you already knew that. I'll agree that the kid is tough. His body, however, is like wet toilet paper. Geezus, Matthew, you're gonna get sacked. You can't get hurt every fucking time you do. Sure, Backus protects like a crotchless chastity belt, but fer gawd sakes, do some pushups or something. Now we're stuck with Shaun Hill. Don't get me wrong. Hill's not bad. It's just that his throwing motion looks like Garo Yepremian's after a botched snap. It's like watching a Charles Barkley golf swing. Get well soon, Matt.

We do have a bunch of bright spots, however. Like, Suh and Vanden Bosch and Delmas and Jahvid. Jahvid has 5 touchdowns in two games. That's insane. He needs to change his last name, though. I mean, I've had Milwaukee's Best and that shit sucks. You don't get bitter-beer face from that watered down urine, you get I-grabbed-the-wrong-can-off-the-table-and-drank-my-buddie's-tobacco-spit face. Jahvid needs to change it to something like Jahvid So Good. That's the slogan for KFC and that shit is awesome! The Double Down sandwich? Two juicy boneless white meat chicken filets used instead of bread slices? Are you fucking kidding me?!? So S-O G-double-O-D Good. Your move, Ochocinco.

The Philly game was fun to watch. When we recovered that onside kick, I swear to gawd I almost got a boner. However, years of non-use has atrophied my poor little weener to the point that it looks like a pig's tail with gangrene. If we beat the Vikings this week, maybe it will arouse me enough that I can use it to open a celebratory bottle of wine.

Kill Favre!!!!!

[Sharkbait]

:-)

[Panoptes]

The usual LOL several times enjoyment.

Thx

Needed it

[-Deborah-]

We've missed you, Kansas!

[jeweler man]

Classic....thanks Kansas.

[Malto Marko]

Good to see you are still watching Kansas.

I am sorry I could not bring my little wiener to attention because I walked out of the stadium when I thought the game was over with what I saw during the last half of the second quarter, all of the third quarter, and up to 6 minutes in the 4th quarter.

Would you mind if I bring unique POV in your thread?

[LionsFanInJapan]

That was excellent.

[DanO]

Miss you Kansas.

GO LIONS "10" !!!!!!!!!!

[Coop]

oh that was just classic Kansaw...

[The Ken]

now that the offseason is upon and and black monday is well into full gear it is time to read what Kansas is so upset about.

[Timmy]

Troy where have you gone?

[Kansas]

hey, everybody! Sorry. I got a new job and have been really busy. starting to get back into the forum now, though. I'll be posting more once I get caught up.

Dano, sorry about the last time you called. I was actually sleeping. Give me a call when you get a chance.

[DanO]

Sleeping???? I'm sorry. I thought you had other "activities" going on.

Congrats on the new job. That's great. It also means I expect you at the next forum Game. :-)

GO LIONS "11" !

[romster]

Good to see you Kansas.