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  • Just took a dump. Do you think I should shower before my doctor's appointment? I'm getting my prostate checked. Or is the act of taking the dump before the exam a nice enough gesture on my part?
    It's so flat you can watch your dog run away for three days.

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    • Originally posted by Kansas View Post
      Just took a dump. Do you think I should shower before my doctor's appointment? I'm getting my prostate checked. Or is the act of taking the dump before the exam a nice enough gesture on my part?

      Don't wash your hands....shake the docs'.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by DeanUK View Post
        Interviewer: "Tell me your biggest flaw."
        Applicant: "Honesty."
        I: "I don't think that's a flaw."
        A: "I don't give a fuck what you think."
        LOL, superb, Dean
        "I'm having much more fun in my 70s in the 20s than I did in my 20s in the 70s.”

        Joe Walsh - Murrayfield Stadium, Edinburgh 22nd June 2022

        Comment


        • I concur
          Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."

          Comment


          • The Grill

            Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."

            Comment


            • Ouch! The 10 Best Crappy Breakup Letters on the Internet

              If you thought your break up was bad, wait until you read these crazy breakup letters
              By Sydney Herwig - June 11, 2013
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              57




              230




              8















              Comments 3 See all



              There's many ways to write a "You suck!" letter but we must say, these are some of the most creative we've seen. When it comes to breaking up, which style letter do you think you would go with? There's the:
              ...interactive letter:

              imgur.com



              ...the grand gesture:

              tucsonweekly.com



              ...the philosophical letter (the drawing is a nice touch):

              funnyordie.com


              ...the overly-complimentary letter:

              funnyordie.com


              ...the very thorough letter:


              cupofzup.com


              ...the social media update:


              happyplace.com


              ...the impersonal personal:


              cupofzup.com


              ...the pizza to soften the blow:



              happyplace.com



              ...or, the simple post-it:


              lionsdenu.com
              Like this? Want more? Sign up for Get Beach Ready Community Challenge


              Hey, breaking up is hard to do so you might as well make it interesting, right?
              Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."

              Comment


              • ^^^^^Those breakups aren't bad.....but......Remember Chris Taylof?

                [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4wjQJX-2lU"]Chris Taylor on Sunrise (The Chaser's War On Everything) - YouTube[/ame]

                Comment


                • LOL. That's great.
                  GO LIONS "23" !!

                  Comment


                  • [ame]http://youtu.be/ADJhErmJuoQ[/ame]
                    Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."

                    Comment


                    • Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."

                      Comment


                      • Stubborn Shovel Seller
                        Posted at: 2012-08-29 06:27:13 | 1498 comments | Add Comment

                        Original ad:
                        Pole hedge trimmer for sale - Homelite electric hedge trimmer. Great condition. $50 OBO. Email me at russ*******@gmail.com.




                        From Me to Russ *******:

                        Hey Russ,

                        That's a really nice shovel you have in the picture. Is it for sale?

                        Mike

                        From Russ ******* to Me:

                        Sorry guy. Only selling the hedge trimmer.

                        From Me to Russ *******:

                        I'll give you $10 for the shovel.

                        From Russ ******* to Me:

                        Cant you read? The shovel isnt for sale.

                        From Me to Russ *******:

                        You drive a hard bargain on the shovel. I'll give you $15 for it, and that is my final offer.

                        From Russ ******* to Me:

                        Here is my final offer: shut the hell up and leave me alone!

                        ================================================== ======

                        Later, from another email account...

                        ================================================== ======

                        From Me to Russ *******:

                        Hey I'm emailing you about the shovel. Your asking price of $10 sounds fair to me. And with the free extention cord, that is a steal. I'll take it!

                        From Russ ******* to Me:

                        What are you on about? The shovel isn't for sale.

                        From Me to Russ *******:

                        Excuse me? That's not what your ad says.

                        From Russ ******* to Me:

                        My ad says nothing about the shovel. I'm selling the hedge trimmer, not the shovel. Look again. Nowhere is a shovel mentioned.

                        From Me to Russ *******:

                        Quit dicking me around. This ad says you are selling the shovel!



                        I can assure you I am not Jewish so you can stop pretending you aren't selling the shovel.

                        From Russ ******* to Me:

                        Oh my god...I swear I didnt put that up. Somebody is messing with me!

                        From Russ ******* to Me:

                        Can you send me the link to that ad so I can have them take it down?

                        From Me to Russ *******:

                        Sorry, I can't find the link anymore. My wife needed to use the computer so I had to delete my browsing history because I was looking at porn earlier. It was somewhere in the stuff for sale section, if I'm not mistaken...so does this mean I can't buy your shovel?

                        ================================================== ======

                        From another email account...

                        ================================================== ======

                        From Me to Russ *******:

                        Dear Anti-Semite douchebag,

                        I got a bone to pick with you. I came across your ad in my search for a new shovel and it seemed like a great deal. Until I read your disgusting comment about not selling the shovel to Jewish people. How the hell do you think that is acceptable in this day and age? What does it matter what religion someone is for you to sell them a shovel? This is absolutely despicable and an outrage to the Jewish community. You make me sick.

                        Sincerely NOT buying your shovel of hatred,

                        Mordecai Goldstein

                        From Russ ******* to Me:

                        I don't have a problem with jews at all! Someone else put that ad up to mess with me and I cant find where it is! Can you send me the link to the ad please??

                        From Me to Russ *******:

                        Why don't you shovel your Nazi bullshit to someone else? This "Jew" isn't buying it!

                        ================================================== ======

                        He finally decided to email my original account:

                        ================================================== ======

                        From Russ ******* to Me:

                        Look you little prick I know you put that fucking ad up and you need to take it the fuck down RIGHT NOW. I'm not selling the fucking shovel GET OVER IT and quit being immature you son of a bitch.

                        From Me to Russ *******:

                        I'm sorry, I thought I was doing you a favor. I wanted you to see how many great offers you could get if you decided to sell the shovel.

                        From Russ ******* to Me:

                        I'M NOT SELLING THE FUCKING SHOVEL LET IT GO! Tell me this asshole if you were doing a favor then why did you put that shit about the jews in there???

                        From Me to Russ *******:

                        I detected some strong anti-Semitic undertones in our initial conversation...I just assumed you were an anti-Semite. My apologies.

                        From Russ ******* to Me:

                        TAKE THE AD DOWN

                        ================================================== ======

                        I emailed him one last time, from another account.

                        ================================================== ======

                        From Me to Russ *******:

                        Good afternoon!

                        I saw your ad for the shovel for sale. I'm more interested in the axe you have in that picture. Are you selling the axe? I'll give you $20 cash for it.

                        - Dave
                        Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."

                        Comment


                        • Haha, that was great. I'm glad it didn't happen to me though.
                          2015 AAL - Ezekiel "Double Digit Sacks" Ansah.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by LionsFanInJapan View Post
                            Haha, that was great. I'm glad it didn't happen to me though.
                            Why? You selling a shovel? I'll give you 17 quid for it.
                            "I'm having much more fun in my 70s in the 20s than I did in my 20s in the 70s.”

                            Joe Walsh - Murrayfield Stadium, Edinburgh 22nd June 2022

                            Comment


                            • OMG lol
                              "I ain't the type to bitch, I ain't the type to cry, I will sit at your red light and wait for your shit to go by."

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Marko69 View Post
                                Why? You selling a shovel? I'll give you 17 quid for it.
                                You've gotta pay shipping.
                                2015 AAL - Ezekiel "Double Digit Sacks" Ansah.

                                Comment

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