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Non-Football Related Stuff That Makes you Laugh Your Ass off

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  • Off Topic: Non-Football Related Stuff That Makes you Laugh Your Ass off

    Not stuff that makes your day.....not stuff that pisses you off.....just funny.


    This one goes under the heading: "This is how they do it in Texas"

    Golf course stabbing could cost man leg

    ESPN.com news services

    A man who was allegedly stabbed during a fight at a Texas golf club over being allowed to play through could lose the use of a leg as a result, The Star-Telegram of Fort Worth reported.
    The 48-year-old man, whose name was withheld by the newspaper over his fear of retribution, suffered a punctured femoral artery when he was stabbed in the leg with the shaft of a broken golf club, a Tarrant County Sheriff's Department spokesman said, according to the report.
    The attack happened on Jan. 27 at a golf course at a resort near Eagle Mountain Lake, after the alleged victim's group asked to play through, believing the group ahead of them was playing too slowly, according to the report.
    A club official had instructed the golfers in the group ahead to let the alleged victim's group play through, the alleged victim said.
    But an argument broke out and became physical, and in the process a golf club was broken, said Terry Grisham, a spokesman for the Tarrant County Sheriff's Department, according to the report.
    The alleged victim said the attacker stuck the broken shaft of the golf club through his leg and pulled it out, puncturing his femoral artery twice, the newspaper reported.
    Muscles in the injured leg have atrophied from lack of blood flow, the alleged victim said, according to the report.
    "If it does not regenerate, it will be no good to me," he said, the Star-Telegram reported.
    A criminal investigation is ongoing, Grisham told the newspaper.

  • #2
    I like the new thread, should be some decent stuff posted on there......., I think maybe "the pond" is to blame for me not getting the funny side of that first story though.

    Comment


    • #3
      What? He never heard of just sitting back and bombing golf balls into the group ahead of them?
      Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Marko69 View Post
        I like the new thread, should be some decent stuff posted on there......., I think maybe "the pond" is to blame for me not getting the funny side of that first story though.

        Marko....Texas is like different country. Things are very different.....my in-laws are from there and every time my MIL comes to town I practically have to get out an English-to-Texas dictionary to figure out what's being said.

        At any rate.....stabbing someone with a golf club at a golf club struck me as funny. Im twisted.

        Comment


        • #5
          It being Texas I'm surprised he didn't just pull a rifle out of his bag and shoot the guy
          Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."

          Comment


          • #6
            Golf....The Gentlemen's Game.
            Let the apathy flow through you.

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            • #7
              Yeah I believe that... I have a buddy who's a cop in Tarrant Co, lots of Pabst Blue Ribbon there...
              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ud6flPnPLA
              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5D3crqpClPY&ob=av3e

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              • #8
                Clouds are clouds. Cows are cows. The Lions are the Lions .-Andrew Heller-

                Comment


                • #9
                  http://www.southparkstudios.com/clip...ash-in-trouble
                  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ud6flPnPLA
                  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5D3crqpClPY&ob=av3e

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    A new hero is born!

                    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU"]Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen. - YouTube[/ame]
                    Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Really. A dad using a handgun as a response to a teenagers (mild IMO) rebellion is a hero? Seems like a pretty serious overreaction to me
                      To be a professional means that you don't die. - Takeru "the Tsunami" Kobayashi

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Media Response to Anita Li, from the Toronto Star

                        Since you took the time to email us with your requests like we asked, I’ll take the time to give you an honest follow-up response. You’ll have to forgive me for doing so publicly though; again I want to be sure my words are portrayed the way I actually say them, not cut together to make entirely different points.

                        Your questions were:
                        Q: Why did you decide to reprimand your daughter over a public medium like YouTube?

                        A: Well, I actually just had to load the video file itself on YouTube because it’s a better upload process than Facebook, but the intended audience was her Facebook friends and the parents of those friends who saw her post and would naturally assume we let our children get away with something like that. So, to answer “Why did you reprimand her over a public medium like Facebook” my answer is this: Because that’s how I was raised. If I did something embarrassing to my parents in public (such as a grocery store) I got my tail tore up right there in front of God and everyone, right there in the store. I put the reprisal in exactly the same medium she did, in the exact same manner. Her post went out to about 452 people. Mine went out to about 550 people… originally. I had no idea it would become what it did.

                        Q: How effective do you think your punishment was (i.e. shooting her laptop and reading her letter online)?

                        A: I think it was very effective on one front. She apparently didn’t remember being talked to about previous incidents, nor did she seem to remember the effects of having it taken away, nor did the eventual long-term grounding seem to get through to her. I think she thought “Well, I’ll just wait it out and I’ll get it back eventually.” Her behavior corrected for a short time, and then it went back to what it was before and worse. This time, she won’t ever forget and it’ll be a long time before she has an opportunity to post on Facebook again. I feel pretty certain that every day from then to now, whenever one of her friends mentions Facebook, she’ll remember it and wish she hadn’t done what she did.

                        The second lesson I want her to learn is the value of a dollar. We don’t give her everything she asks for, but you can all imagine what it’s like being the only grandchild and the first child. Presents and money come from all sides when you’re young. Most of the things she has that are “cool” were bought or gifted that way. She’s always asked for very few things, but they’re always high-dollar things (iPod, laptop, smartphone, etc). Eventually she gets given enough money to get them. That’s not learning the value of a dollar. Its knowing how to save money, which I greatly applaud in her, but it’s not enough. She wants a digital SLR camera. She wants a 22 rifle like mine. She wants a car. She wants a smart phone with a data package and unlimited texting. (I have to hear about that one every week!)

                        She thinks all these things are supposed to be given to her because she’s got parents. It’s not going to happen, at least not in our house. She can get a job and work for money just like everyone else. Then she can spend it on anything she wants (within reason). If she wants to work for two months to save enough to purchase a $1000 SLR camera with an $800 lens, then I can guarantee she’ll NEVER leave it outside at night. She’ll be careful when she puts it away and carries it around. She’ll value it much more because she worked so hard to get it. Instead, with the current way things have been given to her, she's on about her fourth phone and just expects another one when she breaks the one she has. She's not sorry about breaking it, or losing it, she's sorry only because she can't text her friends. I firmly believe she'll be a LOT more careful when she has to buy her own $299.00 Motorola Razr smartphone.

                        Until then, she can do chores, and lots and lots of them, so the people who ARE feeding her, clothing her, paying for all her school trips, paying for her musical instruments, can have some time to relax after they finish working to support her and the rest of the family. She can either work to make money on her own, or she will do chores to contribute around the house. She’s known all along that all she has to do is get a job and a lot of these chores will go away. But if you’re too lazy to work even to get things you want for yourself, I’m certainly not going to let you sit idly on your rear-end with your face glued to both the TV and Facebook for 5 to 6 hours per night. Those days are over.

                        Q: How did your daughter respond to the video and to what happened to her laptop?

                        A: She responded to the video with “I can’t believe you shot my computer!” That was the first thing she said when she found out about it. Then we sat and we talked for quite a long while on the back patio about the things she did, the things I did in response, etc.

                        Later after she’d had time to process it and I’d had time to process her thoughts on the matters we discussed, we were back to a semi-truce… you know that uncomfortable moment when you’re in the kitchen with your child after an argument and you’re both waiting to see which one’s going to cave in and resume normal conversation first? Yeah, that moment. I told her about the video response and about it going viral and about the consequences it could have on our family for the next couple of days and asked if she wanted to see some of the comments people had made. After the first few hundred comments, she was astounded with the responses.

                        People were telling her she was going to commit suicide, commit a gun-related crime, become a drug addict, drop out of school, get pregnant on purpose, and become a stripper because she’s too emotionally damaged now to be a productive member of society. Apparently stripper was the job-choice of most of the commenters. Her response was “Dude… it’s only a computer. I mean, yeah I’m mad but pfft.” She actually asked me to post a comment on one of the threads (and I did) asking what other job fields the victims of laptop-homicide were eligible for because she wasn’t too keen on the stripping thing.

                        We agreed we learned two collective lessons from this so far:

                        First: As her father, I’ll definitely do what I say I will, both positive and negative and she can depend on that. She no longer has any doubt about that.

                        Second: We have always told her what you put online can affect you forever. Years later a single Facebook/MySpace/Twitter comment can affect her eligibility for a good job and can even get her fired from a job she already has. She’s seen first-hand through this video the worst possible scenario that can happen. One post, made by her Dad, will probably follow him the rest of his life; just like those mean things she said on Facebook will stick with the people her words hurt for a long time to come. Once you put it out there, you can’t take it back, so think carefully before you use the internet to broadcast your thoughts and feelings.
                        Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Really. A dad using a handgun as a response to a teenagers (mild IMO) rebellion is a hero? Seems like a pretty serious overreaction to me
                          Would you feel better if he used a hammer?
                          Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Yes. But I'd feel even better if he acted like an adult. Kids are going to rebel, he should not react with violence when they do.
                            To be a professional means that you don't die. - Takeru "the Tsunami" Kobayashi

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              He did what he had to do. She had been grounded for 3 months before over a similar post about the rents on FB. She obviously hadn't learned the lesson. The escalation to her behavior cost her the laptop for good. Read his response posted above. He acted like an adult and gave his daughter a real world consequence to her actions.
                              Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."

                              Comment

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