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Hating on the $EC - Mostly Alabama (and a little Georgia too)

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  • This morning a damp wind rushed in through my partially opened bedroom window and ruffled the crumpled cotton sheets. The early morning sun struggled to break through ominous gray clouds in a weak attempt to top the dark hills that roughly frame my land. The neighbors’ dogs yelped and howled at the distant claps of thunder over the cacophonous soundtrack of an old riding lawnmower. The squeaky hinge of a storm-loosened shutter screamed for oil. This harsh and obnoxious clatter finally forced an unwilling Morpheus to relinquish his control of my dream-like, semiconscious state.

    I am now awake, but I certainly don’t want to be.

    Against my will - and much like a junkie driven by an irrepressible jones - the smell of freshly brewed coffee pulls me from my bed and I lumber to the kitchen to pour myself a cup of hot comfort. Groggily, I drink, rub my aching brow, and yawn. Time is in limbo. With the kitchen window closed the sounds that so rudely pulled me from my deep slumber are now inaudible. It is quiet - almost reverent. All is calm until the memory of yesterday wrestles my thoughts from me.

    Did it really happen? Could it be true? I have to know for sure.

    The cup is now empty but my dealer, Mr. Coffee, is beckoning me to return for another dose. Summoning my dubious willpower, I ignore its siren song and open my front door and proceed to trip through the cool morning dew of my yard to retrieve the chronicle of the previous day’s events: the Tuesday morning paper.

    Upon return, and with the second cup of coffee in hand, I quickly discard the unnecessary and wholly irrelevant front-page and classifieds. Sales papers and obituaries are cast asunder and festooned around my living room. With malice, the travel and business sections are quickly dispatched as I secure the object of my frantic search: The sports page. My mind is racing: Did I dream it? Was it a figment of my imagination? Was my drunken state responsible for conjuring some joyous memory of yore and superimposing it on my present-day reality? Did the University of Alabama really win the national championship? Was fitting tribute once again placed at the recently defiled Altar of Bryant?

    The Truth is confirmed: Alabama did post a glorious and valiant victory in the battle with the evil canine marauders and their amoral leader. The taste of my coffee sweetens with the thought. I quickly read and re-read the article as if the box score would transmogrify in front of my sleepy eyes and betray my now contented mind. To my nervous relief the words hold true to their original message and the cosmic change on my surroundings is instantly palpable.

    Like the promise of a rainbow after a storm, the day begins to take on a warm luster. The Earth is now a better, happier place. The foreboding heavens follow suit as the storm clouds hurriedly retreat from view and give way to a vibrant and intense sunlight that shines more vividly than anytime in recent memory. The visual rapture of that brightness overflows onto the surrounding hills and bathes the entire area with a divine brilliance that provides a shimmering, iridescent halo to all that it touches.

    This breathtaking and spiritually reborn vista is joined in perfect accompaniment by the clean, sweet scent of my once dying - now thriving - magnolia trees. The recently blighted, brown-leafed trees now proudly flaunt healthy hues of rich forest green. Birds return to their nests and squirrels zigzag across the plush lawn. Children laugh and play and run and sing the happy songs of youth and innocence again. Like dominoes, one positive turn leads to another as happiness spreads from house to house; from neighborhood to neighborhood; from city to city; and, ultimately, the entire Earth returns to its correct axis and orbit.

    I am now comforted and my psyche healed. I am whole. And like the Israelites, after wandering in the wilderness for years, I will take this miraculous manna from heaven and nourish myself until completely sated. The villainous usurper is banished and contentment and joy - rapturous joy - are scepter and orb symbols of the returned and rightful King.

    Above, heaven and gods blush with obvious envy at their worldly superiors. Truly, this game was the salve and nectar that my battered soul craved.
    Last edited by AlabamAlum; January 9, 2018, 03:03 AM.
    "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that it is sometimes hard to verify their authenticity." -Abraham Lincoln

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    • Congrats, AA

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      • Nice win AA.
        Goodbye Jalen Hurts...
        Georgia fans feel like they got screwed by the refs. How fitting it would be a B10 crew if true. Same head ref of M @ Ohio St in 2016?
        AAL 2023 - Alim McNeill

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        • They weren't screwed. Did this Big Ten crew miss some huge calls? Yes, but on both sides.
          Last edited by AlabamAlum; January 9, 2018, 08:13 AM.
          "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that it is sometimes hard to verify their authenticity." -Abraham Lincoln

          Comment


          • Thanks DSL.

            And Jeff's "fuck alabama I am glad they are gonna lose" screed made my night.
            "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that it is sometimes hard to verify their authenticity." -Abraham Lincoln

            Comment


            • I'm glad Georgia didn't win.

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              • 5 NCs and the first one that I really feel like 'Bama got lucky on or pulled out of their asses. They have been victims of that phenomenon more than the beneficiaries.

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                • They had a blocked punt taken away from them and that was huge, but they also turtled (Harbaughed) at the end there on offense. Alabama was awfully impressive, especially in the next-man-up department. Plug and play. If the frosh QB doesn't get himself hurt lowering the shoulder like that on a regular basis, he's going to be insanely good. Congrats, AA.

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                  • Fuck Alabama ......:-D

                    Go UCF Knights.
                    Last edited by Jeff Buchanan; January 9, 2018, 08:37 AM.
                    There is such a thing as redemption. Jim Harbaugh is redeemed at the expense of a fading Ryan Day and OSU. M wins back to back games v. OSU first time since 1999-2000​ - John Cooper was fired in 2000!!!

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                    • The refs said the Georgia guy was offisides on that punt. It was close, but from one angle it looked like a good time; however, a Bama guy false started so it really should have been a re-kick regardless.
                      Last edited by AlabamAlum; January 9, 2018, 08:52 AM.
                      "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that it is sometimes hard to verify their authenticity." -Abraham Lincoln

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Jeff Buchanan View Post
                        Fuck Alabama ......:-D

                        Go UCF Knights.
                        Hahahaha. AP poll is already out. UCF is ranked 6th.
                        "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that it is sometimes hard to verify their authenticity." -Abraham Lincoln

                        Comment


                        • It's funny what you think of. When Tua tossed that beautiful 40-yard pass to Devonta Smith to walk-off win the game in OT, I thought of Talent who said "Bama shits golden horseshoes."

                          Heh. It's a pity he was watching the Hallmark Channel instead as a protest.
                          "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that it is sometimes hard to verify their authenticity." -Abraham Lincoln

                          Comment


                          • It's hard to pick a favorite child, but of Saban's 5 NCs at Bama:

                            Texas
                            LSU
                            Notre Dame
                            Michigan State/Clemson
                            Clemson/Georgia


                            I think this is my favorite.
                            "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that it is sometimes hard to verify their authenticity." -Abraham Lincoln

                            Comment


                            • The missed facemask was a game changer.
                              I feel like I am watching the destruction of our democracy while my neighbors and friends cheer it on

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                              • Congrats AA...State Runner-up...Division Runner-up...FBS Runner-up...the holy trifecta!
                                Shut the fuck up Donny!

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