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What's the difference between the Lions and a bucket of shit?
The bucket
The bucket
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Life is like a shit sandwhich
Without bread it's a bunch of shitComment
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I'll quitComment
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Priceless!Originally posted by Toose View PostI long for a Lions team that is consistently competitive.Comment
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How many Lions does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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four, one to hold the bulb, three to turn the ladder."Don?t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright. - Bob Marley "Comment
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How many Lions does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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Only 2, just can't figure out how they got in the light bulb."Don?t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright. - Bob Marley "Comment
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two flies walk into a bar,
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well, they are barflies."Don?t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright. - Bob Marley "Comment
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Spkg of funny
BILL BURR is headed to Royal Oaks, MI in March.
19.1119, NO LONGER WAITINGComment
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A guy gets a call from the police telling him that his house was robbed. The offenders had also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife. A moment of silence passes and the guy says, "I can't believe they fucked my wife after only five beers!"
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Got this text from my brother recently. It read. "Can I stay at your house for a while? The ol' Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my dick. ....
It just reaches the back of her sister's throat!"
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I was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, "It's my husband! Quick, try the back door!" Thinking back, I really should have ran - but you don't get offers like that every day.
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Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching the fuck out of this idiot at a party.
In my defense…when you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts kick in.
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My wife just came in and said,
"I don't know if I am coming or going.
"I said to her, "Judging by the look on your face, you're
going - 'cus when you're coming, you look like a fucking Down Syndrome kid trying to whistle!"She told me I would come into some money. Last night I fucked a girl named Penny - is that spooky or what?
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I saw a fortune teller the other day.
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The missus asked me, "When you're on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?" .... Apparently "Only to stop myself from cuming too quickly" wasn't the right answer .
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Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans. I said, "Fuck that - knowing my luck, I'd win one!"
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What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and ET?ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn't claim benefits, had his own fucking bike, and wanted to go home!
Last edited by Desert Lion; January 19, 2013, 12:41 AM.Passenger on the Lions bandwagon since 1969.Comment
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I laughed hard at a couple by the "Down Syndrome Kid try to whistle", I tried to reread it to my wife and it took me 5 minutes to finally do it.Passenger on the Lions bandwagon since 1969.Comment
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Thanks Gonz. I may try to hit that.Originally posted by Panoptes View Post
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imZ52DHBtug"]Bill Burr 5 Minute stand-up. - YouTube[/ame]
------------------Check out the segment around the 2:15 mark. Been saying this for years. My personals profile says first "meeting" is dutch. Started out the "old fashioned" way but didn't like getting duped all the time by false pictures. I've had several women contact me just to tell me I'm a cheap ass and not a gentleman because I don't want to pay on the first "meeting". They claim they're old fashioned. My response is so you're going to do all the laundry, all the cooking, all the cleaning, and bring me beers while I'm sitting on the couch watching sports? Of course we know the answer. Women want to keep all the benefits of "old fashioned" and jettison the bad............and they fully expect it to happen. My ex was just like this.GO LIONS "23" !!Comment
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I tried to buy tickets this morning.
When asked to choose a section, I did and was given tickets to an adjacent section.
The pages only give so much time to enter your data (and on one page there is a lot of data to enter) and got told twice that the time expired on the page I was on and had to go back and do it over.
Went back and on the hardest page, after typing a letter or two the correct entry came up which I took advantage of.
The last page dealt with delivery of tickets.
Since I am local, I first opted for Will Call.
Then I learned for an additional $2.50 I can print off my own tickets and be eligible for VIP entrance.
OK, for $2.50 I save $4.00 in gas and get an extra perk.
Come to find out before I accept the deal, I need to understand that if I am not on the exact browsers they support, tickets might not print out correctly. My main browser is not one of the ones they support but I was too lazy at this point to find out if my IE was up to snuff for their download.
Might make a trip to the BO and save about $27.00 in extra fees.I long for a Lions team that is consistently competitive.Comment
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I always buy comedy tix from the box off to save $
Lots of $ in S&H19.1119, NO LONGER WAITINGComment
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