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To be a professional means that you don't die. - Takeru "the Tsunami" Kobayashi -
I long for a Lions team that is consistently competitive.Comment
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Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Betcha the liar told you I was speeding too.2015 AAL - Ezekiel "Double Digit Sacks" Ansah.Comment
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:-)Benny Blades~"If you break down this team man for man, we have talent to compare with any team."Comment
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textsfromlastnight.com
(206):
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
(360):
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck youI feel like I am watching the destruction of our democracy while my neighbors and friends cheer it onComment
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Two Scottish guys walk out of a bar ..........
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. Stop laughing, it could happen, you know."Don?t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright. - Bob Marley "Comment
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LMAO!Originally posted by Sharkbait View Post
Cop sees a woman drive past, but she is also knitting. He drives alongside her and motions for her to open her window.
"PULL OVER" he shouts.
"NO, ITS A SCARF", she replies."I'm having much more fun in my 70s in the 20s than I did in my 20s in the 70s.”
Joe Walsh - Murrayfield Stadium, Edinburgh 22nd June 2022Comment
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LOL!!!!Originally posted by CGVT View Post"I ain't the type to bitch, I ain't the type to cry, I will sit at your red light and wait for your shit to go by."Comment
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Ba Dum!Originally posted by Marko69 View Post"Don?t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright. - Bob Marley "Comment
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Ha!I feel like I am watching the destruction of our democracy while my neighbors and friends cheer it onComment
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nice2015 AAL - Ezekiel "Double Digit Sacks" Ansah.Comment
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Ha!I feel like I am watching the destruction of our democracy while my neighbors and friends cheer it onComment
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Hahahahaha"I ain't the type to bitch, I ain't the type to cry, I will sit at your red light and wait for your shit to go by."Comment
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Ha!I feel like I am watching the destruction of our democracy while my neighbors and friends cheer it onComment
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Haha, damn.2015 AAL - Ezekiel "Double Digit Sacks" Ansah.Comment
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