Joke Thread

[entropy]

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory....I don't remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..."

[entropy]

There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.

[entropy]

Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

[Marko69]

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[Marko69]

This is not a bum licking post or a post to gain “likes”...... but over the years on this forum, there is a trend (for me) that anytime I read posts that is laugh out loud, thigh slapping funny, CGVT also likes those same posts.

Its on the bucket list ——> beers and barbecues and some laughs on the lawn.

(Or maybe on some seats just at the side of the lawn) 👌

[Malto Marko]

We are still battling COVID-19 but the next thing is here already.


Virologists have identified a new Nile virus - type C. It appears to target those who were born between 1930 & 1970.



Symptoms:



1. Sending the same email twice.

2. Sending a blank email.

3. Sending a message to the wrong person.

4. Sending it back to the person who sent it to you.

5. Forgetting to attach the attachment.

6. Hitting SEND before you've finished.

7. Hitting DELETE instead of SEND.

8. Hitting SEND when you should hit DELETE.



That is why it is called the C-NILE virus.

[-Deborah-]

Ha!!

[edindetroit]

Ugh!

[Marko69]

Nice one, Malto.

Hope you and yours are all doing ok. 👌

[Marko69]

A mate told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I asked, "How can you tell them apart?"
He said, "Her brother's got a moustache and a cock.”

[Malto Marko]

Sorry for the late response, Marko but, thanks! Things are not bad. At my advanced age I am of the opinion that a comment I heard as a lad, has much more truth in it than I originally thought. That comment was: "The only thing that is true in life is that change is constant."

Life has changed a lot for me, (not all for the worse) but, Life is good and thanks for asking.

I am on pins and needles right now because while our family welcomed a new healthy member in January, there is a June baby that is due and right now in peril. Mom has been hospitalized which is 8 weeks early and right now looks like will have to be taken before full gestation. Not a really big deal because Neo Natal care is excellent, but there are underlying health issues that may affect Mother and Child.

Just a part of family living but, fingers can get white when crossed for too long.

[Tom]

Sorry to hear that Malto. Hope everything turns out for the best.

[DanO]

Sorry to hear that Malto.

[Malto Marko]

Thanks Guys.

Everyone is stable at the moment.

Unless there is a major shift in circumstances, I will be a grandfather for the 6th time early next week.

[-Deborah-]

Sending prayers for health and strength for momma and baby!! Best wishes, Mark!!