Diary of a Madman---a collection of KANSAS' rants

[SeattleLionsFan]

That's true...it's not as smart as just throwing the ball anywhere so they will stop hitting you when you are losing a game.

[chemiclord]

I'm actually reading that book right now...............for the 3rd time. Absolutely hysterical stuff in there.

I'm sure not even the Vogons could have words that encapsulate the sheer torturous horror of watching a Lions game.

[Kansas]

Yeah. Watching the Lions is like listening to Vogon poetry........pure torture.

For those of you who don't know:

Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.

Here's an example, with the second version added for especially for Lions fans:

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon
See if I don't.

As a mordiously bitled Lions fangul
I am jurpling slangrily into a rancid festering axlegrurt
And my frarting glupules are causing pimpeltuckets
On my noduled agrocrustles
Oh sweatled bartflaster
Ease thy Moochie fusterclucking
And pluck mine jowling visual orbilookers
Or gurdle me on kabobaknockers
Why not then?

[Panoptes]

LOFL

I just saw that movie the other night and it was bizarre. To say the least...

[chemiclord]

I can see the remake in twenty years...

"It appears we have found some hitchhikers. Let me assure you I will not take this trespass lightly. We will find you, then depending on my mood, I may just force you to watch the Detroit Lions game from last week..."

"We're going to die, aren't we?" Arthur asked.

"Yes. Likely painfully." Ford affirmed grimly.

[Kansas]

Matt Millen starring as......."The Jerk"


Well, might as well prepare for next season. The only thing I need is a quarterback. I don't need a kicker or a punter. Just a quarterback. And a left tackle. A quarterback and a left tackle and that's all I need.

And a center.

A quarterback, a left tackle, and a center and that's all I need.

And some linebackers.

A quarterback, and some linebackers, a center, and a left tackle.

And a defensive end.

A quarterback, a left tackle, a center, and a defensive end. And that's all I need. I don't need one other thi.............I need a cornerback.

A quarterback, a left tackle, a center, some linebackers, a cornerback, for sure.

And a defensive end................but that's all I nee.............and a defensive tackle. But that's it.

All I need is a quarterback, a left tack.............................and a guard.

A quarterback, a left tackle, a center, some linebackers, a defens.................and a fullback.

A quarterback, left tackle, center, some linebackers, defensive end, cornerback, defensive tackle, fullback, and that's it! That's all I nee.................oh shit. I need a head coach.

OK, all I need is a quarterback, a left tackle, a center, some linebackers, a guard............did I say guard yet?............geezus..............a guard, defensive end, a cornerback, and this paddleball........kill me now.

[Niffla]

I had never seen this thread until this morning. Read it all the way through.

Hilarious stuff Kansas!

[-Deborah-]

lol Kansas...we are so screwed.

[Nick Pappageorgio]

I know it's got nothing to do with kansas. But we don't have a celebrity death thread anymore and the diary of a madman thread seemed appropriate.

Syd Barrett died today he was 60. He had been fighting diabetes and drug induced psychosis most of his life. He hadn't made music in almost 40 years but without him the greatest complete album ever recorded may have never been made. Rest in peace Syd :(

[-Deborah-]

Okay, so I'm ignorant...Which album are you referring to?

(BTW, the Celebrity Death Thread is still alive and kicking (well, sorta). It's in the Off Topic forum...scroll down the page here http://www.detroitlionsforum.com/forums/index.php

[kayrone]

I believe he is referring to Dark Side of the Moon, darlin. Syd Barrett was one of the original members of Pink Floyd, but went insane (literally) when the band had only been together for a few years and ended up being a huge influence on their lyrics. He is none other than THE lunatic on the grass/path/head. If you know any old Pink Floyd, he's the one who sang "I've got a bike, you can ride it if you like..." but that is one of the only songs of his that I'm familiar with.

And while I agree with Nick in being saddened by his passing, I don't think his psychosis was entirely drug induced - he had to have been a bit loony already, and then adding LSD to the equation certainly didn't do him any favors. And while Dark Side of the Moon is fantastic, I think Meddle is the better album. ;)

[Nick Pappageorgio]

"Wish you were here" was also written about him.

and OK maybe his psychosis wasn't completely drug induced.



I've know a mouse and he doesn't got a house I don't know why I call him gerald....he's getting pretty old but he's a good mouse

[-Deborah-]

kay,thanks for bringing me up to speed!

[Drew]

I love the Wish You Were Here album. Shine On You Crazy Diamond is to be listened to cranked up to the bejeses belt. There's some exquisite guitar prior to the vocals.

[Darl McrBride]

Syd was the *founder* and *leader* of Pink Floyd. He did actually make some music over the past 40 years - at least two solo (with some help from PF members) albums Madcap Laughs and Barrett. About 5 or so years ago I heard he was working on something else but I'm not sure if it was released. Another note about Syd and a cool video:

http://www.deanesmay.com/posts/1152678003.shtml

Lot's of cool lyrics on the solo albums like:

This is a song about a girl I knew
She didn't like my songs and that made me feel blue
Said a big band is far better than youuuuu....

or

She took a long cold look at me
And smiled
And gazed all over my arm

Great date music! The comments from dates are priceless and could constitute a thread of their own

R.I.P. Syd. Thanks for everything.