Joke Thread

[dsred]

If we reverse the genders is that a funny joke?

[DanO]

I didn't even read the last sentence. I thought the joke over at the end of the previous sentence. Was wondering why there was a picture of a guy laying on the floor.

To your point, absolutely not. Leaving out the last sentence makes it funny either way.

[dsred]

Exactly.

[CGVT]

None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity and clumsiness, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, "You're driving me mad, Tyrone.?

One day Tyrone's mom came to school to check on how he was doing.
The teacher told his mom honestly, that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never had she seen such a stupid boy in her entire teaching career.
The mom was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from school and moved out of Detroit , relocating to Cleveland .
25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an almost incurable cardiac disease. All the doctors strongly advised her to have heart surgery, which only one surgeon at the Cleveland Clinic could perform. Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful.
When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome young doctor smiling down at her. She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but quickly died .
The doctor was shocked, wondering what went wrong so suddenly. Then he turned around and saw our friend Tyrone, a janitor in the Clinic, who had unplugged the life-support equipment in order to connect his vacuum cleaner.


Don't tell me you thought Tyrone became a heart-surgeon....

[Marko69]

Superb......., and I did.

[edindetroit]

Superb......., and I did.

Yep

[Marko69]

Paddy says to Mick ? "I'm ready for a holiday, only this
year I'm going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant.
Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant."
Mick asks - "So what are you going to do this year?."
Paddy replies, - "I'll take her with me!"

[Marko69]

Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing
naked in front of a tractor.
Mick says, "Oi Paddy, what ya doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on
in the bedroom lately and the therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor.”

[bimmer84]

Ha!

[Malto Marko]

Groan.......

[Marko69]

Wow! To both of them Malto? Tough crowd.

[edindetroit]

Groan.......

Exactly!

[Malto Marko]

Here's one for you.


.......my wife hates wife jokes and I had to tell this one with the boys in the room as to not get slapped.

A young lad is attending a Social Gathering and is introduced to a portly black female about twice his age. They shake hands. As soon as she grasps his hand, her expression goes from a smile to solemn. The young lad asks her what is the problem? She explains she does not want to be the bearer of bad news, but his father was going to die tomorrow.

He goes home and tells his Dad who just laughs it off and tells him not to worry about it.

Dad gets up the next morning and goes to work. When he returns home his Wife senses he is distracted and asks him how his day was. He explains his day was not the best but, he was bothered by something their Son said.

The wife quickly quips "Well, I bet you had a better day than the Mailman. He died today."

[Malto Marko]

Wow! To both of them Malto? Tough crowd.

.....actually, I liked the vacation one.

[Marko69]

They didn't have swearing in them, UKBB? How the absolute fucking fuck did YOU not like them? Jaysus Fucking H man.

Recently read a comedians autobiography. They must have one of the toughest jobs out there. This guy says, "for the amount of people who actually like me, there are more who fucking hate me, and even more who fucking despise me! But fuck them, I'm a millionaire!"