Joke Thread

[wcfwtf]

That’s sexist you twat

[Iron Lion]

Well my boomer dad loved my meme

[jaadam4]

Paddy staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped around his throat.

The doctor asks him what happened.

"Well it was like this," said Paddy. "I was having a quiet game of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of Cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball; stuck right in the middle of the cows arse. That's when I made my mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours."

The bigger joke is why would anyone want to be golfing with their wife. Paddy is a moron

[Iron Lion]

If Darwin was in the Bible...

God: Sacrifice your unblemished lambs to me.
Darwin: Shouldn't we breed our unblemished lambs?

God: Build the ark because I'm going to flood the world. Bring a male and female of each animal onboard.
Darwin: But wouldn't the gene pool be pretty shallow?
God: Silence! Also bring seven male and seven female of each clean animal.
Darwin: Wouldn't it make more sense to bring two or three males and eleven or twelve females?

God: Have your goats look at a striped fence while mating. This will cause their offspring to be striped.
Darwin: God, I've decided that I'm an atheist now.

[dpatnod]

The bigger joke is why would anyone want to be golfing with their wife. Paddy is a moron

I dunno. Does she.... you know....???

[dpatnod]

If Darwin was in the Bible...

God: Sacrifice your unblemished lambs to me.
Darwin: Shouldn't we breed our unblemished lambs?

God: Build the ark because I'm going to flood the world. Bring a male and female of each animal onboard.
Darwin: But wouldn't the gene pool be pretty shallow?
God: Silence! Also bring seven male and seven female of each clean animal.
Darwin: Wouldn't it make more sense to bring two or three males and eleven or twelve females?

God: Have your goats look at a striped fence while mating. This will cause their offspring to be striped.
Darwin: God, I've decided that I'm an atheist now.

God: Here man, just burn this bush.





Oh, hang on man, don't burn THAT bush.......

Darwin: What, man? I already burned that shit.

God: Oh ho ho ho h oh ho ho, man, well I hope your're not busy for about a month.....

[Marko69]

One for CGVT.

Q. Why didn't the coastguard rescue the hippie?

A. Because he was too far out man.

—————

Deborah, hurry with that thumb down emoji thing!

[kayrone]

LOL - I like it

[Marko69]

Great news for insomniacs.
Only 2 sleeps ‘til Christmas.

[Marko69]

Note in a bar:

Please be patient with your barman.
Even a toilet seat can only serve one arsehole at a time.

[Marko69]

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[foxhopper]

Unless you live where it freezes.