DSL's Movie/TV Reviews and Discussion

[Dr. Strangelove]

My family subjected me to IT Chapter Two last night. JFC what an aborted fetus of a movie.

I've never read the book but from what I understand it keeps bouncing back and forth between when they are kids and when they are adults. They chose not to do that for the most part when they made the Tim Curry mini-series and the more modern versions I guess. I'm not sure which format is better but I know for me personally the story-line from when they are kids is a lot more interesting than when they come back as adults.

[Tom W]

My family subjected me to IT Chapter Two last night. JFC what an aborted fetus of a movie.

Agreed. After sitting through the first chapter and thinking, is THIS what everybody thinks is so great? I was expecting this one to be "meh". Wow! Just about every part of this movie needs to be a chapter in a film study textbook on now NOT to make a movie.

[Dr. Strangelove]

BLACK BELT JONES (1974)
d. Robert Clouse
Starring: Jim Kelly, Gloria Hendry, Scatman Crothers, Malik Carter, Eric Laneuville, Earl Jolly Brown

LA is planning a new civic center and the mafia has learned of their plans and has been leaning on property owners in the downtrodden neighborhood to sell to them on the cheap. The last holdout is "Pop" Byrd (Scatman Crothers) who runs a karate dojo. Yeah, Scatman runs a karate school. The Mob pressures a low-level gang leader and drug dealer named Pinky to get the deed to this last property for them. They didn't count on BLACK BELT JONES!!!

Tonally this is a very strange movie. There's tons of fist fighting and violence but almost no one ever gets seriously hurt. It's like a Roadrunner cartoon. Black Belt Jones may appear to shatter spines, but 5 seconds later and there they are, up and running around again. There's also virtually none of the sex or nudity that blaxploitation movies usually have. But holy cow, the language is really strong. Motherfuckers and the n-word left and right, and Gloria Hendry even expresses her contempt for homosexuals in a couple places.

Most of the movie is pretty solid. Although the film's finale takes place in a truly bizarre choice: a garbage truck car wash.Black Belt slowly beats up three car loads of thugs, one by one, as they try to fight him waist deep in soap suds from an out-of-control car wash. Then each unconscious goon gets loaded into a garbage truck. The movie even takes takes pains to make us understand that the men weren't crushed to death in the truck. Only trapped by Black Belt. It's weirdly childish at times.

Jim Kelly reminds me of some 80's action stars in that he's completely believable as a fighter; as an actor, only so-so. He breakout role was in Enter the Dragon and he created a archetypal persona for 70's movies, but barely acted after that. Gloria Hendry and Earl "Jolly" Brown were also both in Roger Moore's first Bond film, Live and Let Die. I did think Malik Carter, who plays the low-level leader Pinky, was pretty entertaining and was surprised to see he was in almost nothing else.

The opening credits take place over an awesome 70's jam with lots of freeze frames of Jim Kelly in action and lots of bone-crushing sound effects. Exactly what you'd expect in a movie from this era.

[THE_WIZARD_]

Is he related to Basketball Jones that Cheech & Chong sang about?

[Dr. Strangelove]

HOT POTATO (1976)
d. Oscar Williams
Starring: Jim Kelly, Irene Tsu, Geoffrey Binney, George Memmoli, Sam Hiona

In the fictional country of Chang Lan (a Vietnam stand-in), a Senator's daughter is being held hostage. The US sends in the most logical special agent: Black Belt Jones and a motley crew of squabbling misfits.

Sometimes described as the "sequel" to Black Belt Jones, this movie is a huge pile of shit. Other than the fact that Jim Kelly is in it there is NO connection to the first film. Blaxploitation films were almost dead as a genre by the time this came out but kung fu flicks were still going strong, so it seems like they decided to emphasize the latter.

The problem is the "martial arts action" is not particularly good and Jones gets barely equal if not less screen time than all of his "wacky" sidekicks. George Memmoli plays the particularly loathsome "Rhino", an obese brawler who exists for the purpose of fat jokes, burping, acting like Curly Howard, and never shutting the fuck up. I have never heard of this guy and was surprised to discover he was in several early Scorsese movies and was in a fact one of Scorsese's friends (he died young in 1985 due to problems caused by his weight). Judging him by his performance in this movie you would think he was the struggling comic brother of a Warner Bros exec.

The focus on comedy and the almost total lack of a plot just really sink this thing. And if you're thinking well maybe I'll at least get a satisfying fight at the end? Nope. It's lame as hell too

[THE_WIZARD_]

STFU

[Hannibal]

My family dragged me to the Uncharted movie Saturday night. Wasn't bad. Some pretty good action scenes. Well choreographed. And mercifully short compared to modern action movies.

[Dr. Strangelove]

I've been half debating whether to see that or not.

This month I watched or rewatched the five Daniel Craig Bond films. Would rank them like this, though #3 and #4 are pretty interchangeable.

1) Skyfall
2) Casino Royale
3) No Time to Die
4) Spectre
5) Quantum of Solace

[Tom W]

Can't strongly argue strongly with that ranking - although I'd flip 4 and 5 and say 1&2 are dependent on which way the wind blows on a given day.

I got around to watching No Time to Die Last night. It could have been 20-30 minutes shorter and could have done with less of that video game shoot 'em ups near the end (but yeah, that's pretty much a Bond trademark). Pretty solid otherwise. I prefer the Craig approach to the role and the general casting (especially Dench/Fiennes as "M").

There's been a lot of Bond showing up on cable of late and not all of it has aged well. Connery as a smart ass holds up, but some of those Moore films are pretty ludicrous. Brosnan is just okay. It would have been interesting to see what Dalton could do with a couple more films.

[Hannibal]

I would rank Skyfall as the worst Bond movie, period. It's a tough call between Moonraker and that one but Skyfall wins because it takes itself seriously.

[Dr. Strangelove]

Can't strongly argue strongly with that ranking - although I'd flip 4 and 5 and say 1&2 are dependent on which way the wind blows on a given day.

I got around to watching No Time to Die Last night. It could have been 20-30 minutes shorter and could have done with less of that video game shoot 'em ups near the end (but yeah, that's pretty much a Bond trademark). Pretty solid otherwise. I prefer the Craig approach to the role and the general casting (especially Dench/Fiennes as "M").

There's been a lot of Bond showing up on cable of late and not all of it has aged well. Connery as a smart ass holds up, but some of those Moore films are pretty ludicrous. Brosnan is just okay. It would have been interesting to see what Dalton could do with a couple more films.

Casino Royale and Skyfall are close and I agree with you, I could flip them depending on mood. There's a pretty big gap between them and the other 3 for me.

I rank Quantum the worst because I think it's the least interesting story, and least interesting villain, but mostly because I think the directing stinks. That's the one that tries to imitate the Jason Bourne movies way too much with shakey cam and quick edit bullshit. It does have one of my favorite scenes in all the Craig films though, at the Austrian opera house.

Brosnan was let down by the movies around him in general. I really like him in the role itself.

[Dr. Strangelove]

I would rank Skyfall as the worst Bond movie, period. It's a tough call between Moonraker and that one but Skyfall wins because it takes itself seriously.

Hah, and Moonraker might be the one that takes itself the LEAST seriously. That fucking pigeon that does a double take, man. Woof. All the movie was missing was a lot of wacky looney tunes sound effects. ZOING! WAP! BYOING! And yet it's also a film that has a woman torn to shreds by a pack of dogs. Good thing there's so much comic relief. SOOOOO much comic relief.

[Hannibal]

i liked Casino Royale on first viewing, but IMHO it hasn't aged very well. Nobody has managed to recapture the spirit that originally made it popular.

[Tom W]

Hah, and Moonraker might be the one that takes itself the LEAST seriously. That fucking pigeon that does a double take, man. Woof. All the movie was missing was a lot of wacky looney tunes sound effects. ZOING! WAP! BYOING! And yet it's also a film that has a woman torn to shreds by a pack of dogs. Good thing there's so much comic relief. SOOOOO much comic relief.

It was funnier in it's day- which was before space shuttles disintegrated because of brittle O-rings and cheap tile adhesives.

[froot loops]

I liked Skyfall even as it took itself too seriously, it was just too fucking long.

Quantum Solace really suffered from the writer's strike. Daniel Craig had to assume the writing duties once shooting had begun. Most of these spy movies are made in the fly.