Joke Thread

[jaadam4]

That shit is funny..

[vltrophy4]

Little cub is in family court. The judge says Little cub I'm going to let you live w/lioness. NO says little cub. She beats me! Ok then you can go live w/poppa lion. NO says the cub. Then who do you want to live with? I wanna live the Detroit Lions, they don't beat nobody. LOL

[dsred]

WOW! How original.....

[Sharkbait]

Might have even been funny a couple years ago.

[Islair]

Might have even been funny a couple years ago.

Not funny. Just sad.

[Sharkbait]

Might have even been funny a couple years ago.

Not funny. Just sad.

You are right Islair, we were all a little edgy a couple years back

[CGVT]

Another dumbass packer fan, I see. *sigh*

[FVD]

Hey CG,

Heard Mobile was getting a lot of rain, hope all is well down there with you.

[CGVT]

Thanks for the concern, Frank. I've been in Orlando for a week so I'm not sure how bad it is in Mobile. I'm headed home today. I'll see hw things are tonight.

[Marko69]

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem?
Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing.
Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?!
Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of that fucking specimen cup.

[CGVT]

,

[LionsFanInJapan]

so true

[Marko69]

I thought my wife had serious cursing problems. So much so that I managed to convince her to let me take her to a Tourette's clinic. She hasn't got Tourette's though. Turns out I really am a c*nt and a b*stard and she wants me to f*ck off.

[Tony G]

Women say that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
There is no way to prove whether they are wrong or right.
But a year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It would be nice to have another child."
You never hear a guy say, "It would be nice to get kicked in the nuts again."

[Sharkbait]

She's single...
She lives right across the street.
I can see her house from my living room.

I watched as she got home from work this evening.
I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway.
She knocked on my door...
I rushed to open it.

She looks at me, and says, "I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this
strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night long!
Are you busy tonight?"

I immediately replied, "Nope, I'm free... I have no plans at all!"

Then she said, "Good! In that case, could you watch my dog?"


MAN... IT'S NO FUN GETTING OLD!!!