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Long joke, but its decent. And it'll be a good one to tell in person instead of writing it out. Roof guy told me this last night. Hilarious.
Two guys, Bob and Dave sitting in a pub talking. Dave letting Bob know that there is no one on Earth that doesn't know him.
Dave: Everyone knows me.
Bob: Everyone?
Dave: Yep, Everyone.
Bob: You telling me Tom Cruise knows you?
Dave: I know Tom well.
They fly out to Beverley Hills to Toms house and he answers the door.
Tom: DAVE, how you doing? Come on in
Dave: Not too bad, Tom, how's life?
They stay for a few hours and leave.
Bob: Maybe you just knew Tom, and you were using him for this "everyone knows you" thing!
Dave: Pick anyone.
Bob: Barrack Obama!
Dave: Let's get our asses to the White House, Bob.
Obama answers the door.
Obama: DAVE, MA MAN!!! How the hell you doing, buddy......"
Later.
Bob: That was unbelievable. What about the Pope? You know him?
Dave: Let's go to Rome, Bob.
They arrive in Rome. There is easily 145,000 people in the Vatican Square. The pope was due to come out onto his balcony to greet the crowd.
Dave: Ok Bob, you wait here by this statue, and keep watching the balcony. I'll come out there in ten minutes time with the Pope.
Dave leaves Bob. Sure enough, ten minutes later, The pope appears, hand in hand with Dave.
Bob drops down with heart failure and has to be rushed to the hospital. Dave hears about this and makes his way to the hospital.
Dave: What the hell happened Bob?
Bob: had a heart attack because of the pure shock.
Dave: You shouldn't have been so shocked. I told you, I know people.
Bob: yes, but when you appeared, the guy next to me said, "Who the hell is that with Dave?""I'm having much more fun in my 70s in the 20s than I did in my 20s in the 70s.”
Joe Walsh - Murrayfield Stadium, Edinburgh 22nd June 2022
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Originally posted by Marko69 View PostHoly shit, Dean! A birthday/Xmas DVD just been watched?AAL Quintez Cephus
If you fall during your life, it doesn't matter. You're never a failure as long as you try to get up.
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Or I suppose it should be Vines jokes are very Chegwinish! Cheggars has been around since time began it seems."I'm having much more fun in my 70s in the 20s than I did in my 20s in the 70s.”
Joe Walsh - Murrayfield Stadium, Edinburgh 22nd June 2022
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A slightly drunk woman is in her living room watching TV. She starts yelling "Don't go in there! Don't go into the church you dumb bitch!"
Puzzled, her husband enters the room and asks what movie she is watching.
She replies "Our wedding video".I long for a Lions team that is consistently competitive.
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