Miscellaneous And Off Topic Subjects

[AlabamAlum]

I'm here from Mitch and Murray. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Talent?...You call yourself a poster, you son of a bitch?

'Cause the good news is - you're fired. The bad news is - you've got, all of you got, just one week to regain your jobs, starting with tonight. Starting with tonight's posts. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this month's forum contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize's a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired. You get the picture?

[iam416]

I'm a deer hunter. I go all the time with my dad. One thing about deer, they have very good vision. One thing about me, I am better at hiding than they are... at vision.

[AlabamAlum]

Just a great show...I miss it.

[AlabamAlum]

I never smile if I can help it. Showing one's teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.

[iam416]

Next time you play basketball, AA, try not to be too gay on the court. And by gay I mean, um, you know, not in a homosexual way at all. I mean the uh, you know, like the bad-at-sports way. I think that goes without saying.

[AlabamAlum]

If I were in a room with Talent, Hitler and Bin Laden and I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot Talent twice.

[iam416]

AlabamaAlum does not lose contests. He wins them... or he quits them because they are unfair.

[iam416]

AlabamAlum has been my #2 guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We're like one of those classic famous teams. I'm like Mozart, and he's like Mozart's friend. No. he's like Butch Cassidy, and I'm like Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart; you're going to get a bullet in your head courtesy of Butch Cassidy.

[iam416]

Last one because this makes me think of AlabamAlum and his notorious cheapskate tipping:

Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did, however, tip my urologist, because... I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.

[AlabamAlum]

Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special, baseball cap on backwards, baggy pants... he says something ordinary like... 'yo, thats shizzle.' Okay. Now slowly open your eyes again. Who are you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you.

[AlabamAlum]

AND I AM A GENEROUS TIPPER!

[UMStan White]

and I get deleted?

[froot loops]

If I were in a room with Talent, Hitler and Bin Laden and I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot Talent twice.

Of course you would but Hitler and Bin Laden are dead, that's not saying much.

[AlabamAlum]

Of course you would but Hitler and Bin Laden are dead, that's not saying much.

Never question the genius of Michael Scott.

[entropy]

AlabamAlum has been my #2 guy for about 5 years.

that's so cute..